Structured writing focus
Consider these questions to help you write.
The past
What time in the past is the most attractive for you?
What characteristics of a past society make it attractive or unattractive to you:art?gold?conquests?castles?beauty?peace?
The present
If you think that the present is the best time to live,is it because you love the place where you live?What characteristics of the present make it positive or negative for you?
The future
Will the future be better or worse than the present?What will it bring us?What are you looking forward to?
Read the draft of a student essay
Living in the Present
I have been interested in history ever since I was in junior high school.Sometimes I have daydreamed about the past and the life I could have had.I still love to read about ancient civilizations,like ancient Egypt,but if I had to choose when I would like to live,I would never choose the past.( hypothetical situation: imaginary situation_past + would)The present is the best time for me as a woman because living in a world at peace,being able to develop my mind and talents,and enjoying the love of my family and friends are the most important things in my life.( parallel structure : living.....,being.......and enjoying.....)
Our time is more peaceful than most other times in the past.In fact,I think past generations would look at our lives today,in developed countries,and think that they are close to the ideal.Although there are still conflicts in some parts of the world,we have lived for more than 60 years without world war.We have not suffered the tragedies of war as past generations did.(suffered the tragedies of war).In addition,today we are more concerned about what is happening in the world.Before and even after World War 11,people tended to think only about their own lives and countries.Now that we care more about international problems,we are making the world more peaceful.
The present is important to me as a woman because I can develop my mind and talents.It is only now that women can begin to show their full contribution to the world.In the past,women's lives were not easy because they couldn't study or work outside of the home.They had to take care of their husbands and children.I don't want to say that family isn't important.On the contrary,family is essential to my life,but the chance to work and study is also valuable.Today,many women play an important role in the professional world,something that they couldn't have done in the past. ( varied use of vocabulary and use of transitional linkers to express opposing views)
The third reason why I prefer the present is even more personal: I could never bear to be separated from my family and friends.My family is the best that anyone could have,and I can't imagine living without them.My friends are also essential to my happiness,and I wouldn't want to be lost in the past with an empty heart.I know that in any time I lived I would look for close friends,but I'm convinced I would never find better ones than those that I already have.
I hope that I can use these years of peace,this chance to develop independently as a woman,and the support of the people I love to create a happy and productive future.Studying history reminds us that many people in the past tried to make the world a better place.I hope to do the same and to live my life to the fullest today and tomorrow.
The Thesis Statement:Creating Unity
The thesis statement of an essay creates unity_one overarching idea.A good thesis statement is supported by the other ideas,explanations,and examples in the introduction,body paragraphs,and conclusion.
Read each sentence below.If it would make a good thesis statement for a 5 paragraph essay,write Yes.If it would not,write "No" and explain your answer.
No 1. The present is the best time for me to live,although perhaps this is not true for everyone.
Explanation:opinion not clear;no reasons are given
No 2. We cannot know what the future will bring.
Explanation: gives a fact,not an opinion
3.In the future,the development of technology,the spread of democracy,and the discoveries of medicine will change the world we live in and the way we think.
Explanation:
4. The future will be a utopia beyond our imagination.
Explanation:
5.With its small communities and close relationships,life in the past was more human:less stressful,less cruel,and more compatible with nature.
Explanation:
6.I'd like to tell you about the time that would be perfect for me to live in.
Explanation:
7.Despite the efforts of our research,scholarship,and imagination,we can never completely recapture the past.
Explanation:
Topic sentences:Connecting the Body to the Thesis
The topic sentence is usually the first sentence of each body paragraph.It restates one of the ideas or reasons from the thesis statement.The rest of the paragraph describes the idea found in the topic sentence.Topic sentences connect the ideas in the body paragraphs to the thesis statement.
Use one of the good thesis statement above and write three topic sentences.
Thesis statement
The present is the best time for me as a woman because living in a world at peace,being able to develop my mind and talents,and enjoying the love of my family and friends are the most important things in my life.
Body para 1
topic sentence:Our time is more peaceful than most other times in the past.
Body para 2
topic sentence:The present is important to me as a woman because I can develop my mind and talents.
Body para 3
topic sentence:The third reason why I prefer the present is even more personal:I could never bear to be separated from my family and friends.
Paragraph Order:Creating Coherence
Coherence means that the ideas within and between paragraphs are logically organized.Coherence is created in part through a logical paragraph order.There are many types of logical paragraph order.Write the order the student sample essay uses.
Most important >>>>>>least important
Least important>>>>>>>most important
Oldest>>>>>>>>>newest
Least personal>>>>>>>most personal
